How to Make the Most of Parent-Teacher Conferences
Parent-teacher conference season is here! Depending on your child’s school, you may get anywhere from 10–20 minutes to sit down with their teacher and talk about how the school year is going.
That time goes quickly.
It can be easy to spend most of the conference reviewing grades, test scores, and other information you may already have access to online. While those things are certainly worth discussing, parent-teacher conferences are also a valuable opportunity to learn about the things you can’t see in the gradebook.
How does your child approach challenging work? Do they ask for help when they need it? Are they participating? Are they making progress? Is the teacher seeing the same things you’re seeing at home?
Going into the conference with a little preparation—and a few good questions—can help you leave with a much clearer picture of how your child is really doing.
Do a Little Homework Before the Conference
You don’t need to spend hours preparing for a parent-teacher conference, but taking 10 minutes beforehand to review what you already know can help you make better use of your limited time with the teacher.
Take a quick look at:
Current grades
Missing or late assignments
Recent tests or quizzes
Assessment scores that have been shared with you
Previous communication from the teacher
Any patterns you’ve noticed with homework or studying
It can also be helpful to talk with your child before the conference. Ask them how they think the year is going and whether there is anything they would like you to ask their teacher.
You might be surprised by what they say!
The goal is to go into the conference already knowing what you can learn from the gradebook so you can spend more time talking about what you can’t.
Start With What’s Going Well
Parent-teacher conferences don’t have to be entirely focused on problems.
Ask the teacher what they see as your child’s biggest strengths. When are they most engaged? What subjects or skills seem to come naturally to them? Is there something they’re doing particularly well that might not be reflected in their grades?
Understanding your child’s strengths gives you a more complete picture of them as a student. It can also provide useful context if you need to discuss areas where they’re having more difficulty.
Go Beyond “How Are Their Grades?”
Grades are certainly important, but they don’t always tell the entire story.
Imagine two students who both have a B in math.
One understands the material well but regularly forgets to turn in assignments. The other completes every assignment but struggles on tests because they haven’t fully mastered the concepts.
Those students may have the same grade, but they need very different kinds of support.
Instead of simply asking how your child is doing, consider asking:
Is my child performing where you would expect at this point in the year?
Is their current grade an accurate reflection of their understanding?
Are there particular skills or concepts they’re struggling with?
Have you noticed any patterns in their mistakes?
Is their performance improving, staying fairly consistent, or declining?
The grade tells you what is happening. Your conversation with the teacher can help you understand why.
Ask About the Things You Can’t See in the Gradebook
Your child’s teacher sees them in an environment that you don’t.
They see how your child handles challenging assignments, whether they use their time effectively, how often they participate, whether they ask questions, and what happens when they don’t immediately know the answer.
That information can be incredibly valuable.
Consider asking about things like:
Does my child participate in class?
Do they ask for help when they need it?
Are they able to work independently?
Do they use class time effectively?
Are they organized?
Do they tend to rush through their work?
How do they respond when something is difficult?
Do they seem confident in their abilities?
If you only ask one question from this list, try:
“Is there anything you see in the classroom that I wouldn’t know from looking at their grades?”
The answer may tell you more than another review of the gradebook ever could.
Ask for Context Around Assessment Scores
Depending on your child’s school and grade level, their teacher may share data from benchmark assessments, screeners, state assessments, reading assessments, or other measures.
You may see percentiles, benchmark categories, growth scores, or other numbers that aren’t immediately meaningful.
You don’t need to become an assessment expert during a 15-minute conference.
Instead, ask for context:
What is this assessment measuring?
Is this result where you would expect my child to be?
How does it compare with their previous results?
Are they making the amount of growth you would expect?
Does this score match what you’re seeing in the classroom?
Is there anything in these results that concerns you?
One assessment score rarely tells the entire story. What matters more is how that data fits with your child’s classroom performance, previous results, and the teacher’s observations.
If the Teacher Raises a Concern, Get Specific
If a teacher tells you that your child is “struggling with reading” or “having trouble in math,” your next question should be:
What specifically are they struggling with?
“Struggling with reading” could mean difficulty sounding out unfamiliar words, reading fluently, understanding vocabulary, comprehending what they read, or explaining their ideas in writing.
Similarly, “struggling with math” could mean difficulty with basic math facts, fractions, multi-step problems, algebraic concepts, or something else entirely.
Before you can determine the right solution, you need to understand the problem.
Ask questions like:
Can you give me an example?
How often are you seeing this?
How long have you noticed it?
Is this typical for students at this point in the year?
Is the difficulty limited to one particular skill or topic?
What have you tried so far?
Has anything seemed to help?
The more specific you can get, the easier it becomes to determine what your child actually needs.
Find Out What Support Is Already Happening at School
If your child is struggling, ask what support is already available.
Their teacher may be providing additional small-group instruction, extra practice, intervention time, modified assignments, enrichment opportunities, or other resources that you aren’t aware of.
Ask:
Is my child currently receiving any additional support?
Are there intervention or small-group opportunities available?
Is there something my child could be doing differently during class?
Are there resources we should be using at home?
When will you check their progress again?
This can also help you determine whether the current support seems sufficient or whether your child may benefit from additional help outside of school.
Ask What You Can Do at Home
Most parents want to help, but “practice math” or “read more” isn’t always particularly actionable.
Instead, ask the teacher to help you prioritize.
“What is the one thing we could work on at home that would make the biggest difference right now?”
You can also ask:
Which specific skills should we focus on?
How often should we practice?
Are there particular resources you recommend?
Should we be helping more with homework, or encouraging more independence?
What would improvement look like?
You don’t need to recreate the school day at your kitchen table. A small amount of targeted support can often be much more useful than trying to work on everything at once.
Before You Leave, Know the Next Step
If everything is going well, your next step might simply be to keep doing what you’re doing.
But if the conference uncovers a concern, try not to leave with only a vague sense that something isn’t going well.
Ideally, you should understand three things:
What’s happening?\
What are we going to do about it?
When will we know whether it’s working?
Maybe your child will begin attending a small group at school. Maybe you’ll work on a particular skill at home. Maybe the teacher will monitor something for the next few weeks and check in again.
Whatever the plan is, knowing the next step makes it much easier to determine whether things are improving.
What If the Conference Confirms Your Child Needs More Support?
Sometimes parent-teacher conferences confirm something you’ve already started to suspect.
Homework is consistently difficult. Grades are beginning to slip. Foundational gaps are making new material harder. Missing assignments are becoming a pattern. Your child is losing confidence. Or perhaps their teacher simply feels they would benefit from more individualized support.
Finding that out in October isn’t too late.
In fact, identifying a concern early in the school year gives your child plenty of time to address it before a small challenge has the opportunity to become a much larger one.
Additional support also doesn’t have to mean that your child is significantly behind.
Sometimes a little targeted help with a particular concept, better study habits, or more individualized practice is exactly what a student needs to get back on track.
8 Questions to Save for Your Next Parent-Teacher Conference
If your conference is coming up soon, save these questions:
What are my child’s biggest strengths?
Is my child performing where you would expect at this point in the year?
Is their grade an accurate reflection of their understanding?
Is there anything you’re seeing in the classroom that I wouldn’t know from looking at their grades?
Are you noticing any patterns or areas of concern?
Is my child making the amount of academic growth you would expect?
What is the most important thing we can reinforce at home?
Is there anything we should follow up on? If so, when?
Make the Conversation Count
The goal of a parent-teacher conference isn’t to leave knowing that everythin
g is perfect.
It’s to leave with a better understanding of your child as a student: what they’re doing well, where they’re growing, where they may need additional support, and what you and their teacher can do next.
A report card can give you grades. An assessment can give you scores. But a conversation with your child’s teacher can provide the context that helps you understand what those numbers actually mean—and what, if anything, you should do about them.
If your parent-teacher conference confirms that your student could benefit from additional academic or study-skills support, Adaptive Academics is here to help. We provide individualized support in math, reading and writing, science, and study skills/executive functioning for students throughout the Kansas City area.
Reach out to learn more about how we can help your student finish the semester—and the school year—strong.
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